We now have the audio to prove it

Thank god for TMZ seriously what would we do without them? TMZ somehow got a hold of the actual audio of El Presidente calling doucehtastic Kanye West a Jackass. Click here to listen.

What I want to know is, was he actually watching the VMA's? Or while he was intensely working on his socialist health care reform did an aid come in screaming "Breaking News!" Inform Obama what happened and then someone in the room just happened to have a tape recorder to hear the response?

Also, who the fuck is releasing off the record audio tapes to TMZ? How much did they get paid for it? What other information will they leak next? What he thought about Gag me's performance? That he cried like a baby and repeated over and over "no one puts baby in the corner" when Patrick Swayze died? That he picks his nose and eats it??

Just wondering..

Fashion Fuck up of the day (week?)

Welcome to Fashion Fuck up of the day (week?) I haven't decided yet if this will be a daily or weekly post. Maybe in September, March and when the shows are going on it will be daily and then I will change it to a weekly. Or I will do what ever the hell I want and post Fashion fuck ups as I see fit.

So here we go! First one up is......Marc Jacobs September 2009 Vogue Magazine ad!

As Miz Wino would say: "What kind of fuckery is this?"

Shall I start from the top? Or bottom? Lets go from the bottom up:

#1: Z Cavericchi diaper pleated pants
#2: These above mentioned pants are acid wash purple
#3: The thin man's belt
#4: The top half of a hideous prom dress
#5: Winged out eyeshadow
#6: The Jersey hair

And thats just the outfit. I can not even begin to address the room and those god forsaken curtains. What the fuck? What the fuckity fuck is this? The 80's are dead. Excuse me the 80's and early 90's are dead, there is absolutely, positively no fucking reason TO.BRING.THIS.STYLE.BACK. The music: TOTALLY! The clothes: Dont you fucking dare.

It doesn't look pleasing at all. Come one who the hell wants to wear this crap? Is it a joke? It better be. But if its not and I she someone wearing this shit I am going to beat the crap out of them.

Pretty Fucking Funny

But it would be even funnier if it was real. Click!

Totally Random

Madonna is totally faking it with Gag me

This sounds about right

So shes 45 now?

listen up kiddies, next time your raped dont contact the police, tell OK!

The gays should excommunicate Perez for wearing this hideousness

Why was he even fucking invited???

Get out of her way she will eat you'

I wonder how many jurors (and their families) will make it out of this case alive

Someone's Sowwy...

Ah shit.

today is a sad day.

It has just been reported Patrick Swayze has lost his battle with pancreatic cancer.

Swayze's publicist has confirmed the actor passed away on Monday with his family at his side.

He was only 57-years-old.

Dicked up Douche of the week: KANYE WEST

Welcome to a weekly post I have created! "Dicked up Douche(tte) of the week" Pretty catchy huh? Im sooo creative...Anydoucheway This week the award goes to...drumroll please.....KANYE WEST! whooo hoooo!!

I mean this was an easy one. I am really sick of this no talent, egomaniac, racist piece of shit.

If he doesn't win an award he throws a tantrum. If someone opens the VMA's that's not him, he throws a tantram. He can't deal with the paps, he writes his blog in ALL CAPS if that last one isn't enough for being "Dicked up Douche(tte) of the week" then I don't know what is.

First off, Beyonce's single ladies video is not, I repeat NOT the best video of the decade! Are you fucking kidding me?! The song is genius for clubs and single desperate women and thats it. The video, was just ok. Its a video, nothing that makes you saw WOW let me watch that again (unless you need to memorize the dance moves or are in love with Beyonce.).

And Kanye who the fuck are you to interrupt Miss Swift? hmm..lemme see.... actually compared to her record sales this year you BOTH you and Beyonce are nothing compared to her.

So sit down, STFU and leave the little country girl alone.

You should be banned from all awards shows as punishment.

However, its quite curious that tonight he is on The Jay Leno show. The. first. show. ever. So I'm thinking....is this just publicity? For him and Leno? Possibly. But at the end of the day he is still a dicked up douche.

So pretty please stay off my radar. Cause I don't fucking like you.

toodles! xx

update: Kanye has this on his blog:

"I feel like Ben Stiller in "Meet the Parents" when he messed up everything and Robert De Niro asked him to leave... That was Taylor's moment and I had no right in any way to take it from her. I am truly sorry"

I am calling a big bullshit on this. My comments above still hold true.

Fuck this shit.

Ok the smoking banning is becoming tres annoying. I get it indoors, thats cool I guess, I mean i'm trying to quit anyway and I really hate secondhand smoke while I'm eating...but I was just reading on the gothamist (oh thats right I'm all fancy and shit reading that) that the health dept wants to ban and ticket any smokers smoking on park benches and on the beach! THE BEACH!?!?!?!?! Really? I mean I can't smoke but fatty taffy weighing 300 pounds can walk around in a bikini? Isn't that a more punishable offense?

This is bullshit! I say we revolt! every smoker should go into central park and hog every bench and smoke a butt in protest. Then this weekend go invade the beaches with packs and packs of smokes and smoke them out!

I mean really they can't arrest us all right?

Eh. I'll give it a 5.

Kinda boring last night eh? I mean the only shockers were the last 5 minutes. With Eggs being shot (lets all look forward to Tara being even more fucked up next season) And Bill being kidnapped (after he asks Sook to marry him and she freaks and goes to the bathroom) other than that BOOOORRRRIIIINGGGG!!!! I was fucking falling asleep to it. '

And WTF is Sook thinking about marrying Bill? How about get turned into a vampire first then marry him. Hell-O! He doesn't die fucktard but you will! How pleasant will that be when your 70 hmmmm?

The books are MUCH better!

image provided by: oh some site

Gag. me.

I get it, your different a creative musical genius. But enough. This is borderline assinine at this point.

Don't get my wrong I have been a fan since Just Dance. Before your precious Perez put you out on Blast. So yea I got cred as a fan, but the weirdness action is now crossing the line.

The outfit (on the right) come on, this is not a Victor + Rolf show. You have now officially jumped the shark. Its so obvious that you are trying so hard to be different its becoming a joke. Get over it. Your not Madonna. You are a cross of Britney Spears and Andy Warhol. When I saw you in the hideous lace doily bullshit I groaned "is she fucking kidding me?" my husband said "WTF is that?" I was embarrassed for you. Don't ever do that again.

On to the performance. I get it you were saying to the world: "look at me world I can really sing!" and yes you can, your actually right up there with Beyonce. You sounded great, kept up with your dancers, I was impressed. However it seemed like there was so many different things going on not one driving creative force. And if you are going to put yourself out there as an artiste then you better fucking get it right.

The end of your performance....ugh, ugh, ugh. Again, are you fucking kidding me?, over the top borderlining on a joke. The blood, the hanging, puh-leeze. Too much...genius?

Still it was the best performance of the night. I think. Muse was second.

image via: JustJared

The only part worth watching

Surprise! It sucked

In case you were wondering (which I severely doubt you were) the VMA's SUCKED. Hugely. Like BIG DICK SUCKED.

Im not even going to do a full recrap just a few hilights:


Russell Brand: Im a huge fan but he was not funny this time at all. Last year priceless. This year a watered down version of himself. Like totally half ass OR more likely, MTV took his balls away for the night.

Michael Jackson tribute: Madge, it ain't all about you. Her speech feel so faked and bitchy I was shocked people did boo her, but then her vadge would eat the hecklers. The dancers we awesome. Janet, not so much. She was (is) 30 pounds to heavy, not hitting all the dance moves and lip synced. It was more disgraceful then a tribute.

Kayne West: Is a dick, what the fuck is he doing? No one gives a shit what he thinks. STFU drink your cognac and go the fuck home, or CAPS blog. Piece of shit scaring poor Taylor Swift. Hasn't he made enough outbursts that he should be banned from all shows now????

Taylor Swift: Should have gotten cuntry on Kayne's ass

Lady Gag Me: Ugh more on her later

Beyonce: Or should I say sascha fierce?

And thats all I got.. Oh scandal! Pink and Shakira wore the same dress....who wore it better? Who the fuck do you think? The one that doesn't look like a man.

image provided by nydn

Well we knew this was coming

Surprise! Tom "the geek" Brady has impregnated Gisele "the supermodel" Bundchen. We knew this would happen eventually. Congrats to the happy couple. And my condolences to Bridget Moynahan who is probably in a bath of her own tears right now.

Image via sportsillustrated.cnn.com

2722!!!!!!

He did it!!!!! All hail the hit king!!! He passed Lou Gehrig last night to claim the #1 spot of all time hitter for the Yankees. I must say I got alittle choked up when I saw it. How could I not? I was born a Yankees fan and have been watching their games since I can remember.

This is now the icing on the cake that is the Yankees season this year. They started off shaky but now there is no holding them back. I can't wait to put the cherry on top come November. And by November I mean when they win the world series.

Whats the problem people?

So Mr President addressed the country's schools on Tuesday speaking to all kids from kindergarten to high school seniors. In a nutshell he said "do good in school, be all you can be and more so that when your out of school you can excel farther than students from other countries"

WTF is the problem with that? Now see i'm not a demo or a repub. I am an independent. Tell me the issue I will tell you to go fuck yourself....No seriously tell me the issue and I will give you my view.

I voted for him, he is better than that old fuddy duddy and that poor excuse for a woman but I do think he's a little bit of a pussy sometimes. That being said I think its awesome that he spoke to the kids of this nation.

What is wrong with telling someone to live up to their potential? To study? To be better and smarter than the other guy? hmm? Anyone? Well apparently some of you think thats wrong and socialist...ooooo its socialist? really? If you think that you're an idiot.

I read and opinion piece that this guy told his kids (who are in the 3rd grade) to walk out of the room when the video came on. Really? This guy's a dick. #1 Don't make your kids fight your political battles. #2 Are you just pissed because Obama is saying what YOU or the TEACHERS should be saying?

There is nothing wrong with the president reaching out to the children of this nation and telling them to study more or to try harder. NOTHING.

When I was in school I remember Chuck Shumer coming to an assembly and talking to us. I was in the 5th grade and impressed. I thought wow, this guy is in the government taking time to talk to me. I loved it. And I betcha on Tuesday this week most kids felt that way too. Like he was speaking directly to them. And if that gets one kid to raise his average from an "F" to a "D" or a "C" mission accomplished.

I love how these same people (read = republicans) thats are bashing Obama for this are the same ones that had no problem sending us to a war based on lies.

Oh and just to prove I am independent this image is provided by the anti liberal zone.

OMG It came! its here! YAY!

One of my favorite things to do is read. I read like a book every 3 days. Its my #2 guilty pleasure (#1 being TV DUH!) I read so much that I joined an internet book club called paperbackswap (if you read alot join it its awesome you save TONS of money honey) in joining this club I got hooked on the Queen Betsy Vampire novels by Mary Janice Davidson.

They are easy reads and super funny with lots of dramatic fodder and lots and lots of designer shoe references. Think sex in the city meets vampires.

Oh the point of this blog you ask? Not much, just super excited to totally devour this book tonight and to tell you to get on this train and read this series!

image via maryjanicedavidson.net

What kind of shit is this?

Just saw this on Yahoo! News:

"Nine women were tricked into thinking they were on a Big Brother like show in Istanbul where they were confined for 2 months. They were rescued my the military police.

They were filmed 24-hours a day, by cameras in the villa they were held providing a live stream of images for Internet users who had paid to access the footage.

The women's parents called the police after they didn't hear from them. The military police went to investigate and heard the women screaming from inside"

WTF? are you kidding me? What is wrong with these people? (The men obviously, well the women too, I mean check the fine print next time) This is disgusting and is just adding to the reasons why I will NEVER go to Instanbul. Though if I was locked in there for 2 months with all the weed , cable TV stations and books I wanted and no one could get in touch with me. I might do it. What? It'd be like a vacation or something.

Fuck You NY Summer

I hate you. This is the worst summer ever. Its beginning of September and it should be hot as.. well HELL. It should be so humid I can't breath. So hot, my underwear sticks to my ass in 5 minutes. But is it? N-O! why, who fucking knows maybe you decided to piss those of us off who take you for granted (I personally believe all the rain in June was directed at me) or your being lazy and don't want to travel up from the Equator. Either way I don't give a shit. Its your job to make me sweat and complain about the heat from June 1st - September 31st. I should be so tan I look puerto rican, but do I? No. Thanks. Major Fail.

And the icing on the cake? As soon as it hits labor day its 65 degrees and raining again. So once again all with me now, FUCK YOU NY SUMMER!

They started playing videos again?

Ooh ooh ooh! I'm soooooo excited for the MTV video music awards! I can't wait to find out who wins video of the year. Who do you think it will it be? Inxs Need You Tonight? Aerosmith Cryin? Eminem The real slim shady? Outkast Hey Ya.......oh wait, I forgot, these videos aren't nominated, they just come from a time when MTV ACTUALLY PLAYED MUSIC VIDEOS.

Who the fuck does MTV think their kidding? Is this a joke? When was the last time you saw a video on that channel? And one played during a commercial or the end credits of one of their Emmy nominated shows doesn't count.

Would it kill them to play a video? Maybe a weekly top 20? How about early in the morning or after 11pm? When grown up types who actually watched videos are home and might want a musical visual escape. I mean jesus christ I'm so sick of the real world, road rules, the hills, sweet sixteen, the hills, real world, road rules....you see the trend here right? They play the same god damn shows all day long repeat after repeat.

But you know what is even more fucked up? Is that people still watch the channel, namely YOU. Maybe if we all got together and stopped watching it they would get the hint.

Its just not the same

Don't get me wrong. I am going to enjoy this seasons 90210. It is a guilty pleasure. But its just not as good as the old Beverly Hills. I watched the season premiere and I can see they are setting it up for drama all school year but the whole thing with Wet Blanket Annie is already wearing thin on me.

I get it you killed someone in a drunken haze after you were humiliated in front of the whole school and outsed from the cool click. But grow a pair of balls and take Naomi down. Grab Liam corner her and say "I did not fuck him" so he can respond "I did not fuck her, but I did bang your sister" and then we can move on to the whole murder debacle which I bet they will resolve in one episode but this whole angry hated Annie will last a season.

Oh and Annie? the next time your feeling low, don't bang the stoner senior. Thats just asking for trouble.

Vampire Diaries

Sooooo I watched the premier of The Vampire Diaries last night. And I gotta tell you I loves it! See im all about vampires now, well actually have been for a while. I mean who's not into Twilight (oh my edward!) or True Blood (Eric yum)? Though it really started with Interview with a Vampire. Anyvamphottieway.....

I thought maybe this would be weak in the sense that it is on the CW and they pretty much water down anything that has potential to be good (read=smallville) but this did not disappoint! I will not bore you with a full recap. You can get that shit on TV Squad or Zap2it. I will give you a breakdown. There is highschool drama, sexual tension, murder, and wait for it... Ian Somerhalder...yummy yum yum...He plays the evil devious Damon (I personally would have preferred his name to be Damien but oh well) who's in town with fog and crows to start trouble.

We all remember him fondly as Boone...and if you dont know who Boone is get.off.my.blog.NOW. I think he will be a breakout character on the show, like Eric on True Blood but what the hell do I know?

if you missed it check out the pilot and let me know what you think

Never Forget

Those that died today. Let they always be in our hearts and minds. If you have a chance to take out any terrorists today, get like Nike and just do it.

Welcome! My First Post!

Welcome to Prepare to be Judged! The one blog where every one and thing is up for judgement. And I gotta say i'm pretty nasty with my judging so keep your kids away unless you want to broaden their vocabulary, you make the choice.

Im pretty free flowing with my rants and raves so this is not for the faint of heart. Things might be changing the first few weeks before I get it perfect but I appreciate your business from here on out.

I plan to cover a wide range of topics, from politics, TV, music, sports, and my personal favorite: people that are fucking stoopid. I can't wait to start ripping idiots to shreds with my swift keystrokes.