How many dates can one have in one business week? - Date One

If you're me you can have four - Tuesday - Friday. Monday of course was a day of rest. I have First dates Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and dinner with an....I guess you could say ex? On Friday. Since the first week of 2010 is now being dubbed "date week" I figure I should post about each one.

First dates can be summarized in three ways:

1- OMG i'm obsessed and want to totally see him again, numerous times
2- Never again, I busted out ASAP
3- It went well, I would do a second date and see where it goes.

Date one - Last night (Tuesday people)

This falls under category #3. It went well. There wasn't immediate sparks, but there is definitely potential (for what? who knows? Candy? Sex? Free dinners? Ok the last one I wouldn't do) and I would do a second date and see what goes from there. A summary:

We met up at 8:30 I came directly from spin (fucking duh!) and found him waiting for me at the dive bar of my choice. Now, I always arrive 10 minutes late. Why? I don't really know, I just do. Unless, I have met the person when I am drunk and don't really remember what they look like. I then arrive 10 minutes early, sit at the bar and focus on my IPhone so that they come to me.

We had good conversation over 6 drinks and stayed until last call which was about 1ish. He runs an hedge fund but is not a blue shirt. At all. Quite the opposite in fact, he has more of a surfer personality. Super laid back and hard to read (remember that bit.). I peppered him with questions about hedge funds as I am totally blonde to that whole world and I am proud to say that now I can explain to anyone what a hedge fund is (somewhat, I mean the basic summary, lets be honest, all that shit is greek to me.).

He was impressed with the amount of whiskey I could drink without eating and not getting drunk. I had to inform him numerous times that I am indeed Irish. I mean that counts for something no? After drink 3 he insisted on getting motzerella sticks (new years eve raw food only diet? goodbye!) but it was a good choice.

There were no huge sparky sparks, but he was nice a good conversationalist and was interested in what I do, my life, blah blah blah, all that good shit. But as I said, he was hard to read, so that is probably why I am into the second date.

See, I am the type either you love me or hate me. And with guys I can tell right away what they think of me, within, ohhhhh I would say 10 minutes. This one I had no idea. I guessed at one point (around the 11:30 mark) he was having fun and into me since he didn't try to bolt (i'm pretty perceptive at times) and wanted to have another drink (which became drinks) but still...

You know how sometimes you go out on a date and you don't quite know how to get out of it? No? Shit I do, I have been there a few times - in my early dating days when I didn't want to be mean (hence why I have the emergency phone call back up now) - so I was thinking that maybe this was the case for him.

I digress, kinda... so we leave smoke a cig and need to get cabs. I get the first cab and...wait for it....wait for it.....

I got a kiss on the cheek! The CHEEK!!!!

WTF? The cheek? No no no I don't get the cheek, especially after being on a date for 5 hours.

He texted me when he got home to make sure I got home ok and to apologize for his lameness of not kissing me (points for him.). Now, I get why he didn't , the whole time we were together we were thinking he was getting the flu and he didn't want to recontaminate me (double points) but still, the cheek? That's kinda bizarre to me, but then again, I am a slut muffin.

He has already texted me through out the day, so I will definitely see him again, but then he did something I wasn't that into.

He friend requested me on facebook.

Hmm.....really? I accepted the request (did I mention I want a second date) but when I accepted the request I murmured to myself - "just someone I will have to defriend after I run through them."

Is it bad that I want a second date but already think I will probably ruin it or run through him at some point? Probably, but who knows? Maybe this time it will be different?

Who am I kidding? This is my second job (dating people) I know what will happen like clockwork.

Oh well, on to date two which starts in 1 1/2 hours. I was actually going to cancel because I was so fucking tired this morning but then I remembered... he is cuter then bachelor #1 and is 6 feet. You know how I am with tall cute men. They are my kryptonite. I hope to be home by 11:30 tonight, I need to work out tomorrow morning.

I'll keep you posted. But if he's cute, I'm out till 1am and not working out tomorrow am.

Place your bets.

Remind me to..

Never, ever, ever! tell a guy that I am dating my url for this blog....

I don't like being told not to blog about someone, and I don't like trying to not blog about things that might make someone uncomfortable. Or awkward. Or jealous. Or question me. I don't like questions.....

I'm usually good with this, I might tell a guy I am dating that I blog but never give it up (the site name that is) but I did recently and well.....

I'm sure what I put out here will ruin it, but whateves, if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen (specifically mine). It's my life and I will put it out there its my first amendment right no?

And plus that's my MO, to ruin shit just when it gets good. Oh well...

I guess at the end of the day, the man that I end up with will be able to read about my past (or current) rants/antics and put up with them.

If not......later babe.

Did I ever tell you the story....?

Of when I thought a guy I was dating was going to kill me? No? Really? huh. Well here it goes....

This happened on Halloween weekend (I know I know..it's been too long of me not blogging, sorry, with the dating and the new job and the sex....well you know...)

It was the day after Halloween, and this guy I was dating for a bit wanted me to come over for dinner and spend the night. Granted he lives in the UES (ick) but I work with a girl that lives two blocks away and we were going to commute in, plus, he spent many a night at my place so I was returning the favor.

I arrived and we...you know (I mean the sexual chemistry between us was insane, we couldn't not be in each others presence for more than 5 minutes without tearing off each others clothes) afterward he said, "when you have a sec come down and look at the menu and I will order food." No problem, I go downstairs and he is placing the order online. Now he picked this place because I requested for dinner a salad and fries (what better dinner?) I go on the site and the following ensues:

"hmmmm, they don't have fries.."
"They don't?"
"No, it's cool I will just get a quesadilla instead."
"Watch out let me look."

Now I'm like, "dude i'm not an idiot, I practically invented the interweb" but I don't say anything. He then accepts the fact that there is no fries and then says:

"What do you want to drink?"
"Nothing, tap water is fine."
"K, I want a bottled water, hmmmm why is there no drinks listed?"
"Really? That's weird."
"Yea."
"Well maybe there is something wrong with the site. Why don't you give me the number and I will call them and place the order?"
"No." (not very nice btw)
"Huh? Whaddya mean? Its no biggie I'll just call them and place it and they will have bottled water, its probably the site."

He looked up from the computer screen and gave me a look that no man has ever given me (even my ex when I would verbally eviscerate him) one that clearly sent alarm bells screaming "get out! get out of this house!" the moment we locked eyes. That this man wanted to punch me in the face. Now you may say a punch? Well that's hardly killing you...well that's up for discussion, if a guy hits me I am hitting the ground and cracking my head open, so death, yea that's pretty close. After I got the death look he responded "I. fucking. said. no."

Weird right?? Granted I saw some aggressive behavior in bed (who doesn't like that? Tell me? None you reading this) but out of bed, not hot at all.

"okaayyy."

I quietly went upstairs and starting getting dressed. He comes up and is all "what are you doing?" I am now in survival mode, not giving him my back, watching his every move, trying to not make any false moves and being calm. I respond "ooh just getting dressed....whats your problem?"

I am then told the following in no particular order: "this is my house and my rules and if you don' like it go, you were being a complete and utter bitch downstairs, oh don't give me your tears (I admit I did start crying. Why? well fucking duh, tears are the best weapon against a guy and I seriously thought I was not making it out of that house alive) "go ahead say something stupid to ruin this, blah blah blah."

He goes downstairs, I finish getting dressed and hightail it out of there. Literally ran down the stairs without my shoes - I didn't want him catching me.

Now the story doesn't end there. A week later at 8:00am I get the following text:

"Missing your hot little cunt"

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. I of course do not let this go. You who know me know I must get in the last word. The following texting ensued:

"That's nice. get used to missing it because you're never seeing it again."
":'("
"you can't actually be surprise by my response considering how you treated me the last time I saw you."
"You were a total bitch the last time you saw me. You were in a bad mood walking in the door. Should have fucked you harder."

AGAIN. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.

"I was not a total bitch and you treating me like a fucking asshole and being a dick because I offered to call the restaurant and place the order is uncalled for. I see you as a narcisstic controlling as who thinks women have no right to disagree or have their own opinion and want nothing to do with you do not contact me again."

Pretty clear right? Apparently not. Which brings me to the reason why I am posting this now....Mother fucker texted me last week!

"Yesterday was my birthday and I didn't get what I wanted as a present."
"really."
"really :'("
"I don't even know how to respond to this."
"You can respond by saying that you will give me my present."
"Or I can remind you of the fact that your an asshole and want nothing to do with you especially because you have yet to apologize for being a shit to me."
"I'm sorry for being a shit to you baby."

Now, how fucked am I that at that point I wasn't like....well.....Why you ask? Because he's an asshole, and at the end of the day I like assholes...its easier. No strings and some hope they will change but you know they won't and you really don't want a relationship...ugh whatever it makes sense in my head... Steve anyone? (That one's for you Alicia). But don't worry I put the kibosh on this shit. I do have moments of clarity and sanity...

"That's nice. I thought I was clear when I said do not contact me again. At this point I view this as harassment and all the men in my family that are cops will have no problem harassing you at both your home and office."

I don't think I will hear from him again. Maybe, hopefully...not.

A wise man once said

"The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."


--- Mark "That's my fucking cousin" R.

Always have a way out

I was speaking to a friend the other day who was telling me a story about how she punked out on meeting up with a guy for drinks.

It was someone she met on an online site. She was nervous about what would happen if she walked in saw him started talking and realized she wasn't into him at all whether it be because of looks or personality.

My response, "well that's easy just have someone make an emergency call to you."

She didn't know what I was talking about. GASP! Maybe there is another code word for this and I forgot.

This is a very old, very very old way to get out of a situation you are unsure of walking into.

Say your meeting up with someone at 7pm. You set it up to have a friend call you at 7:30 freaking out needing you immediately. You then have a code word or words to either:

a) cut the friend off because you want to stick around

or

b) immediately run to said persons aid

The best way for this to work and to be realistic is to have it be a work issue (NOTE: this will only work during the week - unless you have a job where you work on the weekends) that the shit hit the fan after you left and you have to go back to the office, you then run off with a parting "sorry, gotta run - work , you know how it is, I'll be in touch!"

Or you can cut off the friend with a "no I took care of that before I left." Hang up and continue getting to know this new stranger you will probably be under later tonight.

Of course the more mature thing would be to stick it out for a drink and just say, "you know I don't think this is working let's just end it here."

But where is the fun in that?

Actually I might need to set up one of these calls for Friday. Cue the eye roll.

Why does it have to be a game?

The above question is in reference to dating.

Why does it have to be a game? Wouldn't it be easier if it wasn't? If everyone was just honest and communicated like non retarts? (notice I was politically correct and didn't say retard.).

Maybe I am not the norm. Maybe people like the games, makes them feel alive. But I say, wouldn't dirty texting make you feel better?

Why if you want to see someone, you can't just say, "Hey what are doing? I would like to see you tonight, are you available?" Instead of, "I'll be home like 9ish.." Hell you can even say; "I want you at my house at 9:30 when I get there so I can fuck you."

Or why can't you say any of the following:

"I like you, would like to see you again."
"I would like to see you exclusively."
"I just want to fuck you."

Without any worry of how it will be perceived?

I think men actually created the dating games and did it for two reasons:

1) To screw with womens heads
2) Because they are afraid to be honest

And because of this women must play the game back or if they don't are the few that are analyzing stupid fucking texts all day long and planning a non gamer counter attack.

If we all just put our cards on the table, showed our aces and were up front with what we wanted with eachother wouldn't it make dating more fun? At the very least it would let everyone know where they stood. There would be no uncertainty and people would be happier in whatever relationship they had, whether it was with a fuckbuddy, a boyfriend, an almost boyfriend or even a spouse.

And millions of women wouldn't be home right now waiting for the phone to ring, or to get that text or be analyzing the last text or message they got.

Whats even weirder, because of years of games, if you're open and honest, no one knows how to handle it, probably because you have thrown them off their game.

Take it from the new kid on the dating block, just say what the fuck your thinking, be honest don't leave those stupid nagging questions unanswered because at the end, the game ends in tears or screaming arguments.