What's hotter? Hell or a NYC Train Station?

I am thinking that a NYC train station is beating out Hell on this one.

I have been trolling around the city all summer taking the train everywhere (well unless its late at night and I'm feeling tipsy in which case I take a cab) and have been sweating like a cow.

Now I have lived in NY my whole life and at one point this summer (last week actually) I was thinking this was the hottest summer ever. And then I realized that no it wasn't - it was a normal summer but that I wasn't used to the train station heat.

I was discussing this with my good friend Alicia (who btw is going to be missing me intensely for the next two weeks) the other day (probably last week but its just coming to mind now since it was so fucking humid today) about how this summer is so hot for me since I for the last 10 years be driven everywhere and now that I am walking or taking the train to all my destinations I'm fucking hot as hell.

To which she responded something to the affect of "well you were a princess before the past years being driven everywhere in air conditioning and now your not."

Side note - I am a fucking princess still. Anyone who has met me knows this. But I think every women should feel or be treated like a princess. Why the hell not? Geez women should be treated like the princesses (or queens) we are.

I digress. This convo and the fact that I'm fucking hot as hell got me thinking, what is hotter? Hell or a NYC train station?

I'm going with a train station. I mean you walk to the train station in 90 degree heat along with 100% humidity and then you get down to the station waiting for the train and the sweat just starts pouring. Even if you walk slow - which is what I do these days - the heat smacks you in the face the moment you get into the station.

Is it just me? I am the only one wiping sweat off my face (so sexy btw) every five seconds?

So yes NYC train stations are hotter. Only because they are no fun, you're standing there waiting - sweating - for an eternity to go to work, or going home at after a 14 hour day, or going someplace you don't want to go, or going someplace you want to go and are too cheap to take a cab.

Now, which train station is the hottest? The most hellish? Hands down the JMZ line station at city hall (chambers street.). Why you ask? That fucking train is like a 2 miles down (though probably realistically a 1/4 mile) from the surface of the earth. So its the closest to the center of the earth you can get without drilling and its FUCKING HOT AS BALLS.

Funniest Shit I heard all day

"You touch her again I'll fucking kill you."

Now, I will explain why this is so funny so you don't think that I think killing is funny.

I am on my way home today on the C train (which is short hand for Crazy train) and all of a sudden I hear "You touch her again I'll fucking kill you." I turn my head super quick, expecting to find out some guy mistakenly macked on a gang banger's girlfriend.

Boy was I wrong.

The above statement was said by some crazy as hell drunken black man (well most likely more drunk than crazy) to a unsuspecting white kid - who was touching his own girlfriend!

Crazy man got up out of his seat staggered across to the couple shook his paper in the kid's face and then threatened him with death. If - IF the kid touched his own girlfriend. He then staggered back to his seat (a fantastic feat considering he was on the verge of blacking out and the train was actually moving fast for a change) and proceeded to death look the kid the entire time (that is in between his eyes forcibly closing on him.)

(side note: I say kid but he was probably 25... to me that's a kid)

Everyone on the train stopped what they were doing immediately and were silent. The kid looked like he was going to pee his pants - i think he did a little. Seriously he was fucking scared shitless...the fear of death was clear on his face. The girlfriend was going to actually say something (what the hell was she going to say I wonder?) but he quickly stopped her. I don't think he was a fan of possibly dying this night.

What did I do? I laughed out loud. I nice hearty HA-HA! The whole scene was ridiculously funny - to me at least. That caused everyone to look at me thinking I was next to get a death threat or maybe even get killed.

Not so people, crazy man looked up at me and slowly, he smiled...then looked away towards his prey to continue on with the death stare.

It was completely and utterly genius.