Oh this is too easy

Wanna be Angelina Jolie was asked by Cosmo what scares her to which she replied:

"Every time I go on stage. Instant diarrhea."

Yea of the mouth bitch!

Please shut the fuck up. No one, and I mean no one likes to hear the word "diarrhea"

Just a thought

Don't wear crocs. They are disgusting. They look like plastic clogs which is really, really, truly hideous.

There is a woman that waits for my bus in the morning that wears them, though I think she changes into shoes when she gets into work (I snuck a peek in her bag once and saw heels) and everytime I see her I get disgusted more. Ladies, beauty is pain. More importantly, fashion or looking good is not necessarily comfy. Deal with it. Do not. I repeat do not were crocs.

They are worse than wearing reeboks with socks (you all know what I am talking about). At this point you are a heartbeat away from shoulder pads.

I rock heels 99% of the time. If I switch them out it's for Tory Burch Reva flats or flippy-floppys which I rarely do... pretty much cause I was born wearing heels (hey im short i gotta get some height on you guys!).

I have heard mothers tell me that crocs are good for kids, something about slipping, whatever i stop paying attention when people talk about the positive points on crocs.... I dont have a kid yet so i don't care.....Fine, under the age of ten ONLY. However when I have a kid they are rocking converse. (and no I am NOT a hipster douchbag)

Now I know the chick on the bus is single, and I say its because she is wearing crocs when she walks the streets on NYC. So let me be the first to say crocs = being single. Even men wearing them is gross. They are ugly. Words can not express how much I hate them, or how ugly, horrible, disgusting, etc they are.

I'm sure this post will piss people off

But I really don't care.

So I have been reading in the paper about old people complaining about their social security wages... that they are not getting a cost of living increase. They state reasons like "if the cost of food, etc is going up, my payments should too" or, "I fought in two world wars for the younger generations to survive, I should get a cost of living increase"

blah, blah, blah.

Lemme explain to you older peeps, I am paying for your social security right now and have for the past 15 years as all of my friends have (some of which ever longer). I haven't gotten a cost of living increase, in fact for oh the last two years. So I now should pay more taxes for you?

Lets be realistic, there will be nooooo social security left when I retire cause the baby boomers aren't fucking dying (hello! the retirement age is 65, people aren't dying for atleast 20 years after that) Plus, the cost of living isn't really going up, at all. All my bills are the same. And if I think something is too high, I call the company and threaten to leave them and get a better rate (better rate = lesser bill)

Now, my in-laws aren't complaining about more money in their social security checks, their happy with what they get, why? oh you know cause they were smart and paid off their mortgage and debt before they retired so they are easy living.

If you are over 60 and still have a mortgage and debt, thats fucked up, on your part, not mine or the younger generation. Deal with it like all the rest of us are.

Cause at the end of the day, my bills are higher than yours (or should be) and your pulling in a good amount of money. Especially those that never worked a day in their life but when they hit retirement age they get a social security check because their spouse worked.

get over it, the young guns are in a worse position than you. I know I am, I have a full 30 year mortgage and doubt I will get a raise in the next coming years.

I think I just peed alittle

A list of..

The 15 bands that just sold out. Why have they sold out you ask? Well thats because they are all going to be on the New Moon soundtrack. And don't even act like you don't know what the fuck New Moon is. I can't even go there with you if you don't.

Now don't get me wrong, I love the Twilight Saga, it is a guilty pleasure, however I take offense to these bands selling out to the masses to make money. I mean what fucking 12 year old girl know what the fuck Radiohead is about or BRMC?? NOTHING.

I have bolded the bands I am really, truly disappointed in

* DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE — MEET ME ON THE EQUINOX
* BAND OF SKULLS — FRIENDS
* THOM YORKE — HEARING DAMAGE
* LYKKE LI — POSSIBILITY
* THE KILLERS — A WHITE DEMON LOVE SONG (Though they have sucked after the first album)
* ANYA MARINA — SATELLITE HEART
* MUSE — I BELONG TO YOU (NEW MOON)
* BON IVER & ST. VINCENT — ROSYLN
* BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB — DONE ALL WRONG
* HURRICANE BELLS — MONSTERS
* SEA WOLF — THE VIOLET HOUR
* OK GO — SHOOTING THE MOON
* GRIZZLY BEAR — SLOW LIFE
* EDITORS — NO SOUND BUT THE WIND
* ALEXANDRE DESPLAT — NEW MOON (THE MEADOW)

I knew this show was going to be amazing

It has been announced on this great day that Amanda Woodward (read = Heather Locklear) will be seen on the new Melrose Place! eeeee!!! She is definitely gonig to be on teh November 17th episode, but we dont know yet if it is recurring or not.

It fucking better be recurring! That bitch better be the guest star the entire series!

The moment you've all been waiting for.

Someone just asked me "hey when is your Emmy posting going up?" Sorry guys for the delay. Here it is:

I didn't watch the Emmy's because watching the Emmy's is for pussies. Plus they are boring and suck.

I was watching The Giants vs Cowboys game. Here's the recap:

The Giants kicked ass!!!

Who Knew?

Apparently there is a Halal Mafia?

Thats fucking crazy! And to make matters worse first blood has been drawn!

Why are there so many Halal street carts? And who is eating this food? Ever wonder where they wash their hands or go to the bathroom?? hmmm? In that yummy lamb and rice.

Seriously? This can't be real

Apparently someone was stalking Ryan Seacrest this week? Um really? Is this a true story or made up in fantasy land?

The story goes like this, earlier this week, the elf (elf = ryan) was approached by a man for an autograph outside a hospital in the OC. Ryan being the gentle midget he is, gave him an autograph but that wasn't enough. The guy followed lil' Seacrest and his security team to his car and then their was an argument and blah blah blah

The full story is boring me. The purpose to this post is this:

- WHY WOULD ANYONE STALK THIS GUY???

- WHY DOES HE HAVE A SECURITY TEAM???

oh I know cause he's tiny tim right?

p.s. since this will probably be my only post about this guy, let me say this: He's Gay.

Just more proof that babies are taking over the world

Everyone is having babies. Babies!!!!!!!! ugh. They are taking over the world. Everywhere I look there are babies and their older counterparts (read = children) running around like maniacs all all over god's green earth getting in my way.

Anybabyway these two are pregnant now, you know Mcsteamy and his noxema wife.

She's just not that into him

I was reading on another site (AOL to be exact) an interview with Charlize Theron.

This is what she says:

You've said that you and Stuart won't marry until gays are also granted the right to marriage. Are you planning to stick to that?
I do. I think if we ever have children, I would want my children to look at that as an example of choice and how important that is to live your life and not just talk, because talk is cheap. But to live your life in a way that really speaks volumes to what you believe in. I've already once lived in a country where certain people got certain things and certain people didn't, and I refuse to live in another country that does that. I will not take part in a ceremony that right now is not available to everybody.

I just think after 8 years she's just not that into him and is waiting for something better to come along. I mean, I married my man after 5 years and didn't say "no, because gays can't get married" Also, is she just saying that because that is a big hot topic now?

Listen i am ALL for gay rights. I truly am, what the fuck do I care who anyone wants to marry? None actually. I have plenty of gay boyfriends that will back me up. If you truly love someone and want to be with them forever and ever and have babies within the white picket fence, you do it no matter what else is going on in the world.

Why? because I said so. But seriously, if you love someone enough that you can't breath without them you marry them no matter what. You do not just hang around with them for Eight... long....years.....

So Stuart, I think its time to find someone that wants to marry you for you, and not a political statment.

what say you? feel free to post in the comments...and if I disagree I will totally delete them. Yes this is america, but I run a communist regime on this blog.

This really pisses me off

Lots of things piss me off. Fat people, one uppers, assholes, homophobes, rain, cold, working, you get the gist of it.

But this shit here really really makes me mad. Like violent mad.

I'm sure you all have heard about the freshman girl from Hofstra who filed a police report saying she was gang raped by 5 men on campus. Well now its come out that she is a LIAR. And well a WHORE.

She had claimed that the men, one of which was a Hofstra student, took her cell phone at an on-campus nightclub and lured her into a dormitory men's room and then gang raped (or gang sexually assaulted whatever that means) on Sunday night.

Well now last night she said it was consensual.

This is fucked up on soooo many levels. These guys always no matter what, will be seen as rapists to anyone who remembers this story. Or people will say: there wasn't enough evidence, they threatened her to recant... Lastly and more importantly, false rape claims make it that much harder for women that were actually raped to win their battles in court.

Listen, we're all adults, if you want to fuck 5 guys in a sitting thats fine with me, and most people, sure we will call you a slut behind your back and to your face (well I would), but if you are old enough to have sex you are then old enough to deal with the ramifications.

Oh your embarrassed because you are a little slutty the first week of college? Get over it, who isn't. Fuck those guys and turn around and say, "yea I gang banged so what? I'm still getting my masters in mathematics what do you care?" Not "oh shit every one knows I'm a slut I am going to cry rape."

Those guys could have gotten 10 years or more in prison, that is fucked up. I'm glad you finally came out of your haze and realized you are more a douche than Kanye but its not enough.

I wish I knew your name or what you looked like so I could post it here. You should hold a press conference and apologize on national TV for being a whore and crying wolf so everyone knows who you are.

I am a firm believer in an eye for an eye. If you rape someone you should be raped numerous times and have your dick cut off. If you file a false rape claim, well then again you should be raped to know how it truly fucking feels.

Whoever you are, you're an asshole and deserve to be treated as such.

This makes me feel old

Remember Sondra from "The Cosby Show"? yea well she is 51. Are you reading this clearly? She is fucking fifty-one! God that makes me feel old. Well at least she looks good.

Damn she actually looks like she is in her thirties...shit...that actually makes me feel worse

Pretty Bizarre indeed

The telegraph has posted a list of the 20 most bizarre Craiglist advertisments of all time (so far)

Here is the full list

This is my favorite based on the enthusiasm alone:

Need someone to hide easter eggs in my apartment when im not home
"I need someone to hide easter eggs in my apt when i am not there ! They are small and filled with candy! I would like to find them myself on sunday! I am willing to pay! Serious inquiries only!"

Serious inquiries only people! Now most people would rob this person blind. Me I would just eat all the candy in the eggs...what kind of candy do you think are in the eggs??? hmmmm I want candy! Ooooh I have M&M's in my drawer. SCORE!!!

Just Saying..

ITS 4:20!!!!!! ENJOY!!

La Sigh

This will be my only post on La Lohan. Unless she dies.

Mizz Lohan twatted today (or yesterday who cares) the following:

"Hahahaha my publicist just called me & said she heard I was in a psych ward!!!! Hahaha WHAT IS WRONG with people???? I'm working lol."

"BUT that's one I've NEVER heard about myself before! New ones r always interesting huh? There's SO much more going on in the world! Wake up."

Really? You need to be in a psych ward!! Do you think people give a shit anymore if you are alive or dead? Puh-leazze sleaze. You are any and all of the following: white trash, whore, slut, dirty, bad actor, horrendous singer, addict, alcoholic, bi polar, fake lesbian, a horrible horrible dresser that has no business being in a Fashion house, shall I go on?

When was the last time you actually worked? Don't you get it? you're what? 22, 23 and you are a has been, a HASBEEN! you have pass rock bottom, you.are.a.JOKE. You are so far gone truly no one cares. Hell even your lezzy lover doesn't care.

The only ones that might care are your trashtastic parents, and that's only for your money. Those two fucked you up good (however you had to know it was going to happen you are from Long Island) and at this point are thinking you are too out of it to notice all of the money they are taking from your checking account (not theirs, yours).

The last good movie you were in was what? The parent trap? (I didn't see mean girls so you know can't say it was that) you could have been in The Hangover but you passed on that just like I pass on holy communion...so now its either straight to video or porn. I thinking porn will start up right after Christmas. Lets start the new year off right.

Listen you need to check your head go back to rehab, get cleaned up. Emancipate yourself from your parents get a good team around you and come back in a year new and improved and start all over again.

If not, I expect you to fall off the face of the Earth in 3...2...1....

Soooo Tacky.

I think its tacky to post about yourself on your own blog like your the fucking star Perez

Breaking News!

Just found out Ann Curry is interviewing right now Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (you know the antichrist?) for an NBC Nightly News special I think part of Nightly News..oh who cares what program its on i'm sure they will advertise this shit to death.

Personally im not going to watch, I don't care for either of these two. And frankly egotistical pieces of shit like Ahmedinejad should not get any time on our TV stations. Hell he should be shot the moment he steps foot our soil.

Thought the reason for this post is: Do you think Ann Curry will molest Ahmadinejad's face like she did with Brad Pitt???? I sure hope so.

Really???

Ugh. I just realized I started a post with the title: Really??? I once got an email from a friend with that as the subject line.... long story short I am NOT speaking to her anymore. And frankly I never liked her (you really think you can start a fight with me over email and win?? I think not)

Anybipolarcrazyladyway remind me to never do that again (title a post with Really??? again)

However I say Really??? because douche Jon Gosselin, almost ex husband of cunty Kate is sending their two German Shepherd's back to the breeder. Why you animal lovers ask? Well because these two are a fucked up reality show couple. But also because Jon is blaming Kate as supposedly Kate won't take care of them when he's not at the house.

See now, I don't watch the show. I maybe seen a spot here and there on the soup, and from there I know they never liked or more importantly loved eachother but they do love the spotlight. So douchemanjon is now getting publicity sending his children's beloved dogs back. Jon, let me be the first to say it (or the millionth, I lost count) YOU.ARE.A.FUCKING.ASSHOLE. You don't care about you children, the mother of your children or more importantly DOGS.

How does one raise a dog and then send it back to the breeder?!?!?! Someone obviously who does not care about anything but himself. You do not, I repeat, DO NOT send back grown dogs to a breeder, what kind of life will they have if someone doesn't rescue them immediately? A life worse than you with Kate. I heard you wanted to kill yourself earlier today. You should. Get busy dying, cause we (well me) don't want you on this earth anymore.

image via this stupid site

YAY!!!!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Daily/Colbert - Keyboard Cat
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Healthcare Protests

I knew there was a reason to wake up today!

Colbert and Stewart are back from summer vacay with new episodes!!!

YAY! policital parody

Oh p.s. when I wake up tomorrow, it better fucking be friday.

Oh no Oh no Oh no

I just had two Megan Fox posts one right after the other. Shit Shit Shit. I need a new post.....Just to break it up and for my sanity...

Anyone see the Marc Jacobs show this fashion week? Its much worse than the ad....check it out here...

and if you like it shoot yourself in the head twice. One for you and one for me. Seriously, if I see anyone wearing anything from this show on the streets of NYC, I will stop you where you stand and berate you until you cry for mommy.

Here we go again.

Im thinking this Jennifer's Body movie is pretty damn shitty if the star is now resorting to doing interviews and talking about how she cut herself. Can she just zip her lips? See Megan, Angelina Jolie you are not, actually you will never be her. Yes people compare the two of you, the tattoos, the dark hair, the sometimes lezzy action, being out and out gorgeous. But you will NEVER EVER be HER. Now im not the biggest fan of that homewrecking whore but she is a better actor than you. If your interested, this is what she said to rolling stone:

"Yeah, but I don't want to elaborate. I would never call myself a cutter. Girls go through different phases when they’re growing up, when they’re miserable and do different things, whether it’s an eating disorder or they dabble in cutting."

Keep this up chica and you will be douchette of the week next week.

Oh and p.s. if I ever see you on the street I will attempt to cut off your arm that has that stupid fucking Marilyn Monroe tattoo on you. You are not worthy of the greatness that is Ms. Monroe.

Is she hot enough to put up with psycho behavior?

She has got to be fucking kidding me with this verbal diarrhea disease she has. Does she have a movie out to promote? Can't she fucking talk about the movie?

In the October issue of Rolling Stone Megan Fox talks about her relationship with Brian Austin Green.

"My temper is ridiculously bad. I've had to say to Brian, 'You have to go and stop talking to me, because I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you with something, please leave.'

I'd never own a gun for that reason. I wouldn't shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure."

Oh Thank God

This ridiculous smoking ban in parks and beaches will not happen..I mean seriously the cops dont have the time to write all of those tickets anyway...what would happen to their donut eating time?

I think Katie Might Disagree

Tommy girl was on Jay Leno last night. In which Leno asked him boring questions via a satellite link from the Massachusetts set of his new movie.

Except when Leno asked him if he was better at flying or sex.

Tommy girl had this to say: “I try to excel in all areas and I’ve never been asked for a refund. (Having sex with me) is like flying.”

really? i don't believe that for an instant, have you seen Katie recently? Shes sooo not have flying high sex.

The only was sex with him is like flying is if the person he is having sex with is Xenu, John Travolta or any guy and even then since he is a bottom he would be the one flying not them.

Chin Twins

If these two had a kid, could you imagine the chin it would have?!?!

image via wenn

Check it

I find myself constantly asking this question (to other people)

Well isn't this surprising

According to the gothamist A Bronx cop named Marc Rios s accused of assaulting a man outside a Kingsbridge nightclub around 4:20 a.m. on March 30th. Apparently he hi him in the face with a baton breaking both the guys cheekbones and baton. Read the fancy article here.

I really don't care about this story it just proves my point once again the cops can be put in one of the following categories:

- Douchebags with power
- Bullies with power
- fat lazy assholes with power

and dont even get me started with the joke that is called meter maids.

Though I really love that this all happened at 4:20

We now have the audio to prove it

Thank god for TMZ seriously what would we do without them? TMZ somehow got a hold of the actual audio of El Presidente calling doucehtastic Kanye West a Jackass. Click here to listen.

What I want to know is, was he actually watching the VMA's? Or while he was intensely working on his socialist health care reform did an aid come in screaming "Breaking News!" Inform Obama what happened and then someone in the room just happened to have a tape recorder to hear the response?

Also, who the fuck is releasing off the record audio tapes to TMZ? How much did they get paid for it? What other information will they leak next? What he thought about Gag me's performance? That he cried like a baby and repeated over and over "no one puts baby in the corner" when Patrick Swayze died? That he picks his nose and eats it??

Just wondering..

Fashion Fuck up of the day (week?)

Welcome to Fashion Fuck up of the day (week?) I haven't decided yet if this will be a daily or weekly post. Maybe in September, March and when the shows are going on it will be daily and then I will change it to a weekly. Or I will do what ever the hell I want and post Fashion fuck ups as I see fit.

So here we go! First one up is......Marc Jacobs September 2009 Vogue Magazine ad!

As Miz Wino would say: "What kind of fuckery is this?"

Shall I start from the top? Or bottom? Lets go from the bottom up:

#1: Z Cavericchi diaper pleated pants
#2: These above mentioned pants are acid wash purple
#3: The thin man's belt
#4: The top half of a hideous prom dress
#5: Winged out eyeshadow
#6: The Jersey hair

And thats just the outfit. I can not even begin to address the room and those god forsaken curtains. What the fuck? What the fuckity fuck is this? The 80's are dead. Excuse me the 80's and early 90's are dead, there is absolutely, positively no fucking reason TO.BRING.THIS.STYLE.BACK. The music: TOTALLY! The clothes: Dont you fucking dare.

It doesn't look pleasing at all. Come one who the hell wants to wear this crap? Is it a joke? It better be. But if its not and I she someone wearing this shit I am going to beat the crap out of them.

Pretty Fucking Funny

But it would be even funnier if it was real. Click!

Totally Random

Madonna is totally faking it with Gag me

This sounds about right

So shes 45 now?

listen up kiddies, next time your raped dont contact the police, tell OK!

The gays should excommunicate Perez for wearing this hideousness

Why was he even fucking invited???

Get out of her way she will eat you'

I wonder how many jurors (and their families) will make it out of this case alive

Someone's Sowwy...

Ah shit.

today is a sad day.

It has just been reported Patrick Swayze has lost his battle with pancreatic cancer.

Swayze's publicist has confirmed the actor passed away on Monday with his family at his side.

He was only 57-years-old.

Dicked up Douche of the week: KANYE WEST

Welcome to a weekly post I have created! "Dicked up Douche(tte) of the week" Pretty catchy huh? Im sooo creative...Anydoucheway This week the award goes to...drumroll please.....KANYE WEST! whooo hoooo!!

I mean this was an easy one. I am really sick of this no talent, egomaniac, racist piece of shit.

If he doesn't win an award he throws a tantrum. If someone opens the VMA's that's not him, he throws a tantram. He can't deal with the paps, he writes his blog in ALL CAPS if that last one isn't enough for being "Dicked up Douche(tte) of the week" then I don't know what is.

First off, Beyonce's single ladies video is not, I repeat NOT the best video of the decade! Are you fucking kidding me?! The song is genius for clubs and single desperate women and thats it. The video, was just ok. Its a video, nothing that makes you saw WOW let me watch that again (unless you need to memorize the dance moves or are in love with Beyonce.).

And Kanye who the fuck are you to interrupt Miss Swift? hmm..lemme see.... actually compared to her record sales this year you BOTH you and Beyonce are nothing compared to her.

So sit down, STFU and leave the little country girl alone.

You should be banned from all awards shows as punishment.

However, its quite curious that tonight he is on The Jay Leno show. The. first. show. ever. So I'm thinking....is this just publicity? For him and Leno? Possibly. But at the end of the day he is still a dicked up douche.

So pretty please stay off my radar. Cause I don't fucking like you.

toodles! xx

update: Kanye has this on his blog:

"I feel like Ben Stiller in "Meet the Parents" when he messed up everything and Robert De Niro asked him to leave... That was Taylor's moment and I had no right in any way to take it from her. I am truly sorry"

I am calling a big bullshit on this. My comments above still hold true.