Gym Newbies

Why is it that everyone and their mother needed to join my gym in the new year??

Did everyone in NYC decide they were fat and had to start working out? After work? When I'm there??

Listen, i'm all for everyone working out, and getting fit, but I really don't appreciate walking into a crowed locker room or fighting for a treadmill.

I go to to the gym after a long day to run it out. Or off. Whatever. I run the day away.

Now granted I just joined right after thanksgiving, but damn it! 6-7:30 is my time at the gym.

This week I go in my normal locker is taken. There are fat naked women running around showing me their boobs and cellulite (like I want to see that???.). Then I go to the treadmills and they are almost all taken.

I like to take one not near anyone else. Give people their personal space. But do the newbies follow that same rule? NOOOOOO. God forbid they give me space. No, instead they want to be right next to me and try to race. Pumping up the speed to be over a 10 minute mile and huffing the whole way and looking at me like they are beating me in a sprint.

Meanwhile I am in it for the long haul, not a quick fast run but a nice long jog. Really get the body working.

I ignore them, they don't know how it works. I am the one that passes the judgment not the other way around.

The only thing I can hope for is that spin class isn't packed tomorrow. Oh and that by the end of the month the newbies start dropping like flies. Thats what they usually do right? Get tired of it, don't see results in 2 days, can't handle dieting and working out and stop? Please tell me i'm right.

If I have to see one more saggy tit, stomach roll or cottage cheese thigh I will throw up.

Preferably on them. I will follow it up with the exclamation: "THIS IS YOUR FAULT! GET OUT OF MY GYM NEWBIE!"