Life Lesson #50

Always have a fake phone number handy.

You know why I bring this up.

Because of the person you don’t want or need that is now blowing up your phone constantly. The person that you fucked, or made out with or...whatever... you shouldn’t have given them your number.

Granted maybe at the time you were into them, for whatever reason because you needed them at that moment but still you knew they were not good enough for you, or wasn't your type, or....well you catch my drift..

Why am I posting this do you ask? Well its not from personal experience (I know my fake number by heart) It's based upon a conversation I eased dropped on the other day.

Two twenty something girls were discussing this topic. The blonde was bitching about some poor loser that kept texting her and asking her out. She explained how she wasn't answering the texts and if she did was making up excuses as to why they couldn't go out sol didn't understand why he kept at it.

The longer I listened to the convo I understood the crux of the problem: She hooked up with someone beneath her looks wise while she was shitty ass wasted and then gave him her real phone number. When she woke up the next morning she was greeted with breakfast (which was a plus) by a balding, pudgy guy in his 30's (this is the minus - like you need me to tell you that.).

She thought the night before he was much much cuter, mainly because his eyes were so blue (apparently his eyes also made her blind to his faults) and also because he is a successful hedge fund manager.

Granted I think the money played a greater role than the eyes (hey we are in a recession maybe in her drunken state she was trying to plan for her retirement?) and while drunk she was willing to look past all the faults but the next morning....not so much.

But that next morning she did give him her phone number. When asked why?! by her redheaded friend, she stated that she was all nervous and freaked out and felt bad...blah blah blah...but that in reality she couldn't come up with a fake number to give.

Now lets also look at this another way. What if this guy is crazy? And gets all stalkery because she doesn't answer his texts? We all know about the reverse phone number look up. You can find someone's home address quicker than I can snap my fingers. And just like that, he (or she - we know most women are crazier than men) is waiting on your doorstep with flowers screaming: "I won't be ignored!!"

So, let this be a lesson to you. Have a fake phone number at the ready always.