I kinda have to stop doing things like this....

I have no choice but to blog about last night. Even I deserve to be judged from time to time. And this morning, the first thing that popped into my head the moment I woke up was "I kinda have to stop doing things like this..."

Shall I explain?

So, last night I went out with one of my best friends. We decided to do a bar crawl/manhunt excursion. We went to hudson bar and books, 5th and 9, Pastis, Dos Caminos and then the last bar....I have no idea where or what it was.

Our plan was to go to Meat Packing but we first stopped off at Hudson Bar and Books because we were walking and it was cold. Plus I can smoke there - natch. We had a few drinks, commiserated, caught up then decided to move on because there were no cute boys there. Plus it was too smokey (even for me.). We then hit 5th and 9. That place was kinda dead. I went there once on a Tuesday and it was more happening. It was filled with bridge and tunnel couples - ick. We decided to have one drink and leave for another bar. Our decision was set in stone when the UES chick came in wearing UGHboots and a fur coat. I of course pointed and laughed (which the bartender totally appreciated but the chick not so much.).

Next stop - Pastis. Which I fucking hate. probably because when I worked two blocks away I went there daily for lunch, but, mainly because they don't have southern comfort. But my friend? She loves it. So we go, snag two seats at the bar and have a glass of champagne. Well she drinks mine - I told her to pound them both so we could move on. When we get up a guy comes up to us from the table right next to us and says "where you guys going? We were having a good time looking at your tattoos."

Now for those that don't know me, I sport a good amount of ink. So I get shit like this a lot. Mostly I don't mind unless it's some pudgy guy that's not cute. I say "we're leaving and moving on." To which the two other guys he was with are like "why?! stay! sit with us and have dinner!"

Now see, one guy? He was an Aussie. If you have an accent I'm dead in the water. The other guy was pretty cute as well, but Aussie accent? I'm all over it. We start chatting and I explain I am leaving because they don't have my drink of choice. The cute non Aussie (we will proceed in this story to call him non Aussie as I have no recollection of his name - but wait it gets worse) states that he will go to another bar get a bottle of soco and bring it to Pastis so we can have dinner with them. I say "go right ahead and try, but it ain't gonna happen." He comes back and surprise! no soco. But he was close, the bartender was going to let him have it but the bouncer said no.

I say - to the Aussie "we are going to Dos Caminos, come meet us there after you eat."

We move on to Dos Caminos, I start ordering food (hey I'm like 9 drinks in at this point) and my friend and I make a bet on whether or not the 3 guys will meet us there. I say no she says yes.

Well she won.

They come we have some drinks. Come to find out from the pudgy friend, the Aussie is married with a kid.

Huh? Really? Interesting. This is why its interesting......

Mother fucker tried to kiss me! At Dos Caminos! And normally I would have absolutely no problem making out at a bar, but, could I maybe know you for more than 10 minutes? He would have totally went home with either of us. Hands down I would win - and not because I'm better looking its just because....well....see.....

I'm the girl you fuck, she's the girl you take home to mom. And I swear its because of my tattoos...and plus....well.....I'm a slut muffin. I don't want to meet your mom.

So once I find this info out, Aussie is totesfugs to me. Non Aussie has been talking to me the whole time, so I start giving him more attention. He was in banking, made a shitload of money and is now basically retired living in Switzerland writing a book about some Italian guy. Oh and he's 36.

After I hear this, I gotta be honest - he's even better looking (at the time). What? You wouldn't think so? If you say no - you're lying.

We then move on to another bar - which one? I have no idea. All I know is they were playing salsa music and I was thisclose to getting into a fight. I wound up making out with non Aussie. My friend and the Aussie left and I proceed to take non Aussie home with me.

Well, fucking duh. Of course I take him home with me, I mean this is what I do. Is this shocking to you? I make absolutely no excuses nor do I condone or regret my behavior.

Welllllllll...kinda...hence my morning afterthought of "I kinda have to stop doing things like this..."

I don't know his name. At all. Tim? Tom? Who fucking knows. Who cares? Not me that's for damn sure. But non Aussie knows I am going to Milan next week and wants to meet me there. We woke up at 10 and the fucker didn't leave until noon.

Seriously? Now, I'm trying to be nice. But please could you get the fuck out? Seriously? You live in Switzerland. I even said it. I said the words "we will never see each other again." The response I got was, "Why not? I will meet you in Milan and I come to the states every month and you can spend your weekends in the Alps."

Ummmmmmm.......yeahhhhhh......I don't ski. And I am certainly not flying 8 hours (both ways) to go to the Alps, when I don't ski. For someone that the next morning is too short for me (5'8" people!)

He asked me how to get in touch with me...I gave him a fake email and cell#. What? I don't want to see him again. Especially - and yes this is weird - after he made my bed.

I don't know why that turned me off. Well yes I do. That makes him a nice guy and I don't like nice guys.....I like assholes. I need a guy that is a nice asshole.

Do they make those? Maybe. We will find out tonight.