You. Are. A. Douche.

The above picture is that of a douche. A female douche, one who thinks we live in a world called "Top Gun" and she is "Maverick."

I got this sweet shot at brunch on Sunday. Brunch in itself was a shit show - more on that later - I mean that's what brunch is, but this one took it to a whole new level.

She was at the restaurant for about ohhhhh 1-1/2 hours, and the entire time she kept her sunglasses on. Now she wasn't blind - there was no cane, seeing eye dog or someone escorting her around. She was moving from the bar to table and reading the menu and eating on her own. So I was able to rule out blindness pretty quickly.

She is also not an actress, or someone that needs to keep her identity a secret like catwoman.

No she is none of these things, she is just a douche. Someone that thinks they are too cool for school, or thinks that they are so beautiful that the moment she takes off her sunglasses all eyes will be on her and she will have to flee for her safety because girls and boys alike would not stop hounding her for her number, autograph or, well whatever. Who cares.

And not to mention the fact that she is a douche she looked like a bitchy douche. She didn't smile once or really speak to the people she was with. Like she was sooooo over brunch.

Please. You know the bitch was massively hungover and didn't have time to put on some eye cream or mascara.

Let this be a lesson to you all. Sunglasses (along with hats) are not meant to be worn inside. You do that you look like an asshole. Especially if you are a girl. I don't know why but it's just more assholey if you are a girl.

I wouldn't stop pointing and laughing (a half a bottle of soco will do that to you) and me and my girl friend kept talking loudly about maverick and iceman which is probably why she didn't smile but do I care? Nope. You walk into a restaurant and don't take off your sunglasses you're totally asking for it.

I tried to get my friend to walk over and act like she was Natalie Portman. To say something to the effect of "I really hope you win at the globes on Sunday." But she wouldn't do it.

Oh well, I think our laughter was enough to get her to eat as quickly as possible and hightail it out of there.

All in a days work.

Oh and P.S. Adrien Brody was at the same restaurant, no sunglasses, no hiding. He was out there for the whole to see...and side note? He's kinda hot. I never thought he was but in person.....I'd hit that in a hot minute.